Pam's Birthday
by datafiend
Summary: ANOTHER UPDATE! 3chapters into A full episode fanscript in several weekly installments. Pam is forced to celebrate her birthday for the first time with coworkers. Jim, although at Stamford, finds a way to reach out.
1. Chapter 1

Part 1 of 3

The Office - Pam's birthday - full-length fan script.

standard disclaimer about characters and not owning rights...blah blah blah...just a fan having some fun

INT. OFFICE, PAM'S DESK, MID DAY

Phones are ringing, people are making sales calls and from Pam's desk it sounds like the standard droning buzz of yet another work day.

Michael walks out of his office and approaches Pam's desk with a cylinder wrapped in newspaper (the comics section).

MICHAEL : It's the birthday girl

Pam shoots Michael a stern look

PAM : How did you find out?

MICHAEL : A good boss always knows.

INT. MICHAEL'S OFFICE.

Michael is speaking towards the camera.

MICHAEL : In a place of business people need recognition. I tried passing out birthday surveys last year to find out everyone's birthdays and the only ones I got back were Dwight's and Creed's.

(pauses)

So I did what any good boss would do and I grabbed a peek at their insurance forms.

INT. OFFICE, PAM'S DESK

Pam shyly takes Michael's present and puts it behind the counter out of view.

MICHAEL (like a child) : Open it, open it, ooooopen it!

Pam quietly opens the present with Michael hovering over her. She rips open the top and the cylinder reveals itself to be a can of PAM cooking spray. She looks oddly at Michael.

MICHAEL: Do you get it? Now Pam can spray some PAM! (in a funny voice): Pam's got PAM!

Michael picks up the can and sprays a little on his shirt.

MICHAEL : Look everyone, Pam's all over me!

Pam looks at the camera and rolls her eyes.

INT. MICHAEL'S OFFICE.

Michael is speaking to the camera.

MICHAEL : I think birthday gifts should be humorous. On someone's birthday they are a full year older and closer to death, so I think a little comedy makes them feel better about that. And apparently, cooking spray is not some kind of magic formula but it's just made of oil so it looks like this suit is going to have to be dry cleaned. You know what? It's a small price to pay for a genuine laugh.

-------------------------------------------------------

INT. OFFICE, ACCOUNTING DEPT.

Dwight awkwardly walks up to Oscar, Kevin and Angela. He locks eyes with Angela for a moment while Oscar and Kevin look in horror. Angela makes a sour face and Dwight looks over to Oscar.

DWIGHT: Oscar. I need you to get a cake for Pam's birthday.

OSCAR: Dwight, for the last time you are not my boss.

DWIGHT: Maybe not but I am your superior.

OSCAR : No, you're not. You're in sales and I'm in accounting.

ANGELA: Why are we celebrating Pam's birthday? We never celebrate birthdays in here...well except for Michael's and that one time we had a party for Meredith even though it wasn't close to her birthday.

OSCAR: Well, I'm busy Dwight. You're Michael's assistant, why can't you do it?

DWIGHT: I am not his assistant, I am the assistant regional manager. There is a difference. I am asking you because (gets quiet) well, you know

OSCAR: No Dwight, I don't.

DWIGHT: Because you're...(gets very quiet as if speaking a bad word) homosexual.

OSCAR: And that makes me better at picking out a cake? Do it yourself Dwight.

Angela looks flustered and sighs.

ANGELA: We're really busy here Dwight, can't you get the temp to do it.

DWIGHT: Except that he's not a temp anymore and I don't think I can trust him.

ANGELA: Why don't you tell Michael to go get it?

Angela and Dwight lock eyes again for another awkward moment. Dwight walks off hanging his head.

INT. CONFERENCE ROOM.

Pam is speaking to the camera.

PAM: So, today's my birthday and apparently Michael found out. I've worked here for years without having to celebrate my birthday at work. Usually Roy would take me out to eat and that would be my birthday. (looks down at the floor)

INT. STANFORD OFFICE.

Jim is on the phone ending a sales call. He hangs up glances towards the camera.

INT. STANFORD CONFERENCE ROOM.

Jim is speaking to the camera

JIM: Of course I know it's Pam's birthday. I'm her friend right? (sighs) I can only imagine what she's going through if Michael found out. Am I doing anything for her birthday? No. Well...I did send a package in her name to the office. I think she'll get a kick out of what's inside.

INT. SCRANTON CONFERENCE ROOM.

Michael is in the conference room with Angela, Dwight and Phyllis.

MICHAEL: I have called this emergency meeting of the famous Scranton branch party-planning committee.

ANGELA: If you wanted us to plan something for Pam you should have told us before the day of her birthday. We have work to do Michael.

MICHAEL: Oh work lurk. (pauses and smiles) work smirk...work...

DWIGHT (interrupting): jerk?

MICHAEL (flustered at Dwight): No, no. The point is...in order to get work done people need to have a good time. They need to relax. Don't have a cow, man. (laughs nervously)

PHYLLIS : Well what do you want us to do Michael?

MICHAEL : Well you could get this party started! You could create some energy in this place! Well...actually Phyllis maybe you should be in charge of getting the cake. Last time the ice cream cake didn't get around to everyone so maybe something bigger this time? You must know where to get a big cake.

Phyllis looks down at the table.

MICHAEL : Angela, give Phyllis some money from petty cash. How about thirty dollars?

ANGELA (sternly at Phyllis) : Make sure you get a receipt and bring back all the change.

_tune in next week for the 2nd installment_


	2. Chapter 2

Since my first installment was fairly short and I already finished a few more pages, I figured I would post another short installment for everyone's enjoyment.

Again, please review if you read it...I'd like to hear opinions whether they be positive or negative!

Part 2

INT. SCRANTON CONFERENCE ROOM.

Creed is speaking to the camera.

CREED: So, the cute girl that answers the phones is having a birthday. I told Michael when my birthday was, it was a month ago. I never got any cake. To make up for it I loaded my trunk with a third of the stationary supply closet. (pauses) Michael said it was there for us to use...so I used it by returning it all to a Staples store for in-store-credit...which I used to buy one of these gizmos (holds up a PDA). It's the closest thing to a computer I've ever owned.

INT. SCRANTON OFFICE

Phyllis walks by Pam at the reception desk holding a large sheet cake. She walks in to the conference room and sets it down on the table. Angela is there putting out plates, napkins and forks.

ANGELA: Is that a vanilla cake?

PHYLLIS: It's vanilla and chocolate marbled.

ANGELA: Some people don't like vanilla, Phyllis. (sighs)

PHYLLIS: Who doesn't like vanilla cake?

ANGELA: I don't know...some people.

INT. SCRANTON CONFERENCE ROOM.

Dwight is speaking to the camera.

DWIGHT: I don't like vanilla cake. When I was 8, I once went to a birthday party and ate four pieces of vanilla cake. I threw up all over the Chuckie-Cheeses we were at and I was never invited to another birthday party.

(pauses)

Besides, chocolate is superior. Back in the old days in Mayan culture chocolate was reserved for the noblemen and esteemed members of society. Vanilla was eaten by the peasants.

INT. OFFICE

A delivery man walks in the door with a small bouquet of flowers. He walks up to reception.

DELIVERY MAN: Is there a (looks at card) Pam Beezly in this office?

PAM: Yea that's me.

Pam looks at the camera with a smile and shrugs.

DELIVERY MAN: Enjoy.

The delivery man exits as Pam looks at the flowers and the card attached. Kelly walks up to the desk just as she begins reading the card.

KELLY: Oh, they are so pretty! Are you seeing someone now?

PAM: No...they're from...Roy.

KELLY: Oh, well that was sweet of him. They are very pretty flowers. I wish Ryan would buy me flowers once in awhile.

The camera swivels to Ryan who is at Jim's old desk, in earshot of reception. Ryan looks at the camera with a slightly scared look.

INT. CONFERENCE ROOM.

Ryan is speaking towards the camera

RYAN: Yea...so...Kelly is not the most subtle person out there. (pauses) Our relationship is like a runaway train, ya know? I need to stop it somehow before it ends in complete disaster and takes several innocent lives with it.

INT. OFFICE

Michael comes out of his office and beats his hands on the reception desk like it's a drum. Dwight approaches behind him.

MICHAEL: Birthday girl! Are you ready to paaartay?

Michael follows that with making "raise the roof" motions. Dwight follows suit and continues to "raise the roof" even after Michael stops.

MICHAEL: Dwight, what are you doing? You ruined it...the roof was already raised! You just...lowered it back down.

Dwight looks slightly confused and drops his arms to his side.

INT. MICHAEL'S OFFICE

Michael is speaking to the camera

MICHAEL: Raising the roof. It's the international symbol of getting a party...going. One person doing it, it gets people excited. When two people do it...(pauses)...it's just...lame. Totally uncool.

INT. OFFICE

The front part of the office is empty except for Pam. She is putting her flowers in a vase and placing them on her desk. She stares at them for a moment. Everyone has already gathered in the conference room so she walks over and enters.

INT. STAMFORD OFFICE.

Jim is sitting at his desk. He takes a deep breath and picks up the phone and begins dialing a number. In the middle of the number he hangs the phone up and looks dejectedly down at his desk. He sighs, struggling with himself to gather the courage to make the call. He glances at the camera and then back to his desk, shaking his head.


	3. Chapter 3

Part 3

INT. CONFERENCE ROOM

The employees of the Scranton branch are enjoying birthday cake. Michael is wearing a birthday hat (the small cones that have an elastic strap) and is trying to put one on Pam. Pam is trying to back away from it.

MICHAEL: Come on, it's your birthday...you have to wear it!

PAM: Michael, no...you'll mess up my hair.

MICHAEL: You're a bachelorette now, no one is going to care.

Pam finally stops fighting it and lets Michael strap on a ridiculous looking birthday hat to her head. She looks at the camera with a forlorn face and shakes her head in disbelief over what Michael just said. She is speechless.

Dwight is making a mess out of his cake by trying to pick the vanilla parts out of the marbled cake. Every time he removes a piece he places it on a second plate he has there. Phyllis looks at him in disgust and then looks at Angela. Angela's eyes meet with Phyllis' and she quickly diverts them.

MICHAEL: Not a fan of the vanilla, huh Dwight?

DWIGHT: No, I am not.

MICHAEL: I'm a big fan of the chocolate love as well Dwight, but I don't discriminate.

Angela shoots an angry look at Michael and then walks out of the room in disgust.

MICHAEL: Stanley, how about you? Chocolate or vanilla lovin'?

STANLEY: I like this marbled cake. It's delicious, Phyllis. Where did you get it?

Phyllis begins opening her mouth to respond by Michael quickly interrupts.

MICHAEL: Mulatto. I think that's the proper term Stanley, not marbled or...Oreo.

STANLEY: What?

Michael looks uncomfortably at the camera and chuckles.

INT. STAMFORD OFFICE.

The girl that sits behind Jim throws a paper airplane at him. He catches it without even turning around to face it. He then spins around and faces her, throwing the airplane back

GIRL: How...?

JIM: I'm just that good.

GIRL: No, seriously...how did you see that?

JIM: Eyes in the back of my head?

GIRL: Or you were looking at me in the reflection of your monitor...

JIM: Is there anyplace else to look? I mean, I look at my spreadsheets and there you are. I look at my email, and there you are. I feel like I'm watching a web-cam of you with the reflection I get off this thing (hits the top of his monitor with his hand.

Jim smiles and turns around to face his desk again. The girl has a wide smile now.

INT. STAMFORD OFFICE, CONFERENCE ROOM.

Jim is talking to the camera.

JIM: So...I think I topped myself for Pam's birthday this year. Last year I changed Dwight's Windows start-up screen to have my face on it. I also changed his icons around for all the programs he uses most. It took him two weeks to figure out how to change it back. She really got a kick out of that one.

(pauses)

So this year I called up my buddy at IT to do me a favor...

INT. SCRANTON OFFICE

The Indian IT guy is in the office alone, taking Dwight's computer apart.

INT. STAMFORD OFFICE, CONFERENCE ROOM.

JIM: He installed one of these (Jim holds up a walkie talkie type device) inside Dwight's computer and hooked it up to the sound card. What can I say, the man is a genius.

(pauses while he smiles deviously)

Pam is going to get the other walkie-talkie for her birthday.

INT. OFFICE, CONFERENCE ROOM.

The office employees are still enjoying cake. Oscar hands Pam a small box that is gift-wrapped.

OSCAR: Here, this is from all of us.

PAM: Oh, wow. You guys didn't have to do this.

Pam opens the box and pulls out a mug. It says "World's Best Receptionist".

PAM: Thank you guys...that was very nice of you.

MICHAEL: Okay everyone, Jan is coming later today...we gotta look busy! Back to work troops!

INT. OFFICE.

Everyone is filing back into the office area and taking seats at their desks.

INT. OFFICE, CONFERENCE ROOM.

Oscar is speaking towards the camera.

OSCAR: Yea, so we had no idea it was going to be Pam's birthday. Phyllis picked up the mug from her fiance Bob Vance at Vance Refrigeration next door, his receptionist had it and she recently went on maternal leave for a few months. That buys us some time to find another one and replace it I guess.

INT. OFFICE, CONFERENCE ROOM

Pam is speaking towards the camera. She holds up the mug.

PAM: So...yea...the bottom of the mug is stained from coffee. I guess it's the thought that counts...I still wish Michael hadn't found out my birthday. And yes, I got flowers from Roy.

INT. MICHAEL'S OFFICE.

Michael is speaking towards the camera.

MICHAEL: A mug? How corny is that? (nervous laugh) A can of PAM is much, much funnier. And practical. She'll think of me next time she cooks an egg and it doesn't stick to the frying pan. What's she gonna do, think of them...every time she gets a cup of coffee? (smiles)

INT. OFFICE, RECEPTION.

Pam is sitting at her computer when another delivery man comes into the room, this time with a medium-sized brown box.

DELIVERY MAN: Pam Beezly?

PAM: That's me.

DELIVERY: Here you go, sign here. Thanks.

Pam signs the slip and the delivery man leaves. She looks at the box, the return address reads "Jim Halpert".

_to be continued..._


End file.
